What's the point of all this?
I don't feel like this will have a happy ending. I just constantly try and fail. At some point you need something positive to keep you going but it just never happens. It's just failure and rejection over and over...
Everyone just leaves or ignores me. Everything i try turns out to be for nothing and no one cares.
People i thought cared just wanted to alleviate their own boredom. As soon as their lives are better i get thrown away without a single second thought.
I'm too old for this. I can't live with just work, work, work and only work all the time. My hobbies are entirely useless. I don't ever meet anyone and if i do they end up ignoring me shortly after.
I don't belong anywhere and it has been like that all my life. I have been taking antidepressants for over 10 years now and nothing changed.
What's the point? I don't want to "search for meaning in life myself". The only thing i want is to end this god awful loneliness and i'm willing to do everything to make it stop.
I have started to get drunk way more often lately. It doesn't help much... but for a short time i at least forget about being horribly lonely when i sing along to some of my favorite songs...
Until i wake up the next morning all alone again and feel even worse for overdoing it.
@eternallyworthless Hi. Yeah antidepressants don’t do anything to change our actual problems. You’re looking for deeper stable connection with others and it’s not an easy place to be. I get the whole “I don’t want to search for deeper meaning in life.” It’s a pretty abstract thought and who has the energy for that when they are depressed. You are not worthless.
@hopefulPond6108
Yeah. I get that things like that don't come easy and i put in lots of time and effort but i'm just too drained by now. At some point "the search" has to be over and something needs to come our way...
@eternallyworthless Besides being a time-pass source, seeking companionship often comes with certain expectations. Enduring loneliness for an extended period tends to make us more accepting than others. Therefore, if someone chooses to move away, it doesn't necessarily imply there's something wrong with us. Remember, you are worthy, and there will be many who will prioritize you. However, sometimes, we might not be fortunate enough to find that special connection among the people we care for or open up to. Keep your heart open, and the right connections will come your way eventually.
@Harish
Yeah for people that have lots of options there is no reason to stick around with people like me.
I will. I don't think this is too much to ask for and i won't leave this life without ever been loved by someone at least once or getting to know what it's like to truly be "wanted or liked".
@eternallyworthless
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, That sounds incredibly rough, especially since you aren't able to get the support you need from others and your antidepressants are not helping. I have experience with taking antidepressants in the past, and they didn't help me much, either. It can feel very hopeless when you're taking steps to get better and not the seeing the results you need.
Finding true companionship can also be very difficult and take a lot of time. But when you find it, I don't think that person will abandon you, no matter how you feel. I have experienced it too -- friendship even in the depths of despair.
Until then, I hope you're able to rest and restore and focus on the things you love. Please feel free to send me a message, too, if you feel like reaching out.
@eternallyworthless She's been drinking more alcohol, for the past 5 days. Did you check on her? Did you notice her?
Who are you talking to in terms of therapy? I too have dealt with all of this for a long time and antidepressants alone aren't a cure. You need to be talking to someone too. If you haven't found the right person yet, keep looking.
Crawling out of the hole really involves thinking small versus thinking large. Looking at the whole picture is always tough. What happens if you sing your favorite songs without getting drunk? I bet that they would still make you feel better for a few minutes. Aim for those few minute a day to start out with. You can build it up to longer periods of being slightly better over time. @eternallyworthless
@bestVase7265
No one at the moment. I've become sick and tired of therapists digging around in my childhood when my problems clearly lie in the present. There also is no solution to loneliness and paying a person to talk to me is humiliating too.
Oh i do that too. During the day i have zero problems with that. Just the night time becomes unbearable when it gets silent and i cannot drown out my thoughts with music. That's the time where i sometimes grab alcohol to help with that.
@eternallyworthless Maybe you have had the wrong type of therapists if they just want to dig into the past. The past has some effects on us, but I agree, therapy that works on present issues feels useful. I found CBT to be really helpful with depression. See Dr David Burns, Feeling Good TEDx presentation
To be sure, this doesn’t address the loneliness problem. But it does help with mood, and that can affect how well we interact with others. It can also help us deal with periods when we are alone.
Nights can be really hard as we get more tired. I totally get that.
Do you get outside at all? I find that walking after dinner helps all of those emotions of loneliness and just being overwhelmed to be a little less with the walk. I really didn't think it would work when I first started doing it every night. But it miraculously did. @eternallyworthless
