Advice???

Hello I'm 27 and idk what wrong with me. My boyfriend is 38 and we have been together for 4 yrs but things started wrong. He got into a car accident with the mother of his child the day we were suppose to move in together and he disappeared on me for 3 wks. Finally got a call from him he was in the hospital. At the time I was 23, so i would go to work then the hospital then to work wearing myself out. He broke his legs and two fingers but he completely healed in 4 months because of me...now during the healing process he hurt me...he did drugs he lied to me he cheated probably all kinds of things while I worked...I quit my social life for him and I lost all my friends except my best friend. I ran out out money,had to borrow money and couldn't pay back,and I eventually lost my place to stay and we had to live with his mama in the country. I have never been there before and I didnt have a car and I needed a job so I saved my tax money got him his license so he could take me to work...he could not work because of his accident. He was waiting on disability to pay him but we waited 2 years and he got denied. Yes we argued yes we fight too he would drop ke off and never come back...he embarrassed me in public..he basically took advantage of me...now all he talks about is how if he didnt know me he would be in a better place and just saying things to hurt my feelings now he has found a job and we finally moved in a apartment but he stills leave me hurt my feelings do exactly what he wants and I cant do anything about it I dont drive I dont have a car and we have a baby now which he never told his mom I had to tell her and this is my first child and dont want anymore because he has kids already.like he came into my life and turned me into a nobody. He dont say anything about me on Facebook he dont get me valentine's day gifts he dont do nothing we have never even traveled since we been together now I hate life but I love my baby I dont want him anymore but I want my baby to see her father. I have tried talking to him but he don't want to or he will drive off...I dont know what to do I'm not attracted to him anymore I just pretend to care until I can get on my feet and leave him but how do I deal with pain while he is around. Everytime I get alone I cry,I go outside just to cry or I will play with my baby and just cry...I dont smile I delete social media cause I have nothing to say we don't take pictures he is so boring and now we dont have sex at all he even told me no...so I have no feelings for him