Bullied at HS, and now at 32 I've never had a boyfriend
Hi I'm a 32 yrs old woman and I've never had a boyfriend. But thats not all the story.
In high school I was bullied for being "fat" (at 157 cm of height with 53 kg of weight). I was severly bullied, my classmates made fun of me, specially the boys they said I was ugly, fat and called me names while laughing like jackals. After 3 years of enduring their shit I stood up for myself and then they leaved me alone. But the scars didn't fade away: me feeling ugly, fat (the crazy thing is that I was neither fat nor ugly) and utter worthless of love, friendship or anything good in life. The feeling that people would only aproach me to laugh and hurt me just like they did. The feeling that I was less, less for everything and everyone. I got friends (2, I still have their awesome friendship!) and I was very good at school. But those feelings where always with me.
And that translated in my adult life. I new I wasn't all that, but I couldn't truly believe it or feeling it my heart. I couldn't believe that anyone could find me pretty or worth of love, friendship, merit, you name it.
And now at 32 yrs old (soon 33) the reality of my life is that I never had a boyfriend, I never feel that thing of love someone and be loved in return. And I feel deeply and truly sad.
I was diagnosed with depresision, I now that there are others forms of love (friends, family, pets, etc) but I could experience that love, the "fall in love" one... now it's too late, I'm old and ugly.
What can I do?
@abelina
I'm twice as old as you and a bit more, so please don't give me that old and ugly crap that you have accepted and inhaled from people who wouldn't understand beauty if it came to them with wings on.
Now I am a good looking intelligent man, and if you or anyone try to tell me otherwise then watch out lol. I decide on whether I'm good looking or not, noone else.
Who told you to agree with those losers?
<rant over>
(actually I'm ok looking really)
@DavidEss
Wow, a rant. Thank you? :/
@abelina
Oh, don't take that the wrong way, will you.
Bullying is just evil, and I'm on your side.
😇
smh 32 years old female, emm..
I don't know for sure how to advice you but yeah, I couldn't blame it to you since you have trauma of the past...
Love is not to be find but to be seek, accept, build and taken care off...
Love can be dengerous if you find someone with intentsions only like you for a certain things...
for ex-> sex or your weatlh or other only wanted to married you to make you die so they can get inssurance and married other girl...
Smh...
no idea tbh but there is a case for someone I know, never date too until around 30s and then until now they are happly married since both are very mature...
So just pray and do your best in life and enjoy it, if it is your destiny then live alone if it is your destiny to be others then ask GOD to make you meet the one that really suitable for you according to GOD not you...
Life is full of mystery that make that varibable are so massive and unreadble, I really can't say for sure...
Maybe:
1. Pray what is the best for you.
2. Ask some advice from people that have been living a good life, I mean someone that are having a good married so you can be very open mind. (if can someone that is old but still love each other more each day or the same at-least, you will learn alot about them if you find one, their words are really a gold).
3. Focus on your life, if you can't just make a diary of what you have been feel and fear or worrines then pray...
4. Being more mature (Mature is not about age).
5. Stop looking for others and stop comparing yourself with others, you are you and them are them, know people are different, each one is unique according to their own way.
6. You are depress because the you cannot accept the reality as it is, you cannot accept yourself and being greatful for it is, learn to be content for what you have and be greatful, accept you as you, accept the past...
If you have many trumas, or one big traumas, ask your psychology how to deal with it..
Mental heatlh can be restore and heal too.
7. Prepare your finance and mental well, since there is a very high risk you will be alone until you die.
8. Tried to close to people that are succesful (succesful people always have auras and they all are willingly or wanted to help others that is real succesful people).
9. Ask to people that have same case with you but pass that, I'm not yet married so I can't say for sure but according to me that is my best opinion not advice, opinion for you, you should discuss it with yourself or people you think are expert in it(succesful people in this case).
