Cause of depression

Best friend left me . felt I was too strong for too long so I thought I needed a great . wanted to know if people could have someone as perfect as me . idek yolo

My theory on why I get depression : - raised up fearing parents - being told by family members that I should lose weight if : i want to be beautiful, i want to make friends, i want to find a boyfriend. - not being able to lose weight - insecurities - being made fun of bc i actually liked school and reading - being told that i was too shy, boring, not funny - being constantly compared to other girls that mom wished i was like - isolating myself - feeling like my family is disgusted by me - never having attention from boys ( believing that what mom said is then true ) - hating my body - being deprived by something that made me really happy - losing friends - not fitting anywhere - watching/listening dad and mom argue, scream, and not being able to do something - feeling like my friends weren't truly my friends - feeling like i'd been used - fearing the future bc i don't want to be as my mom - i can go on I just wished mom would've taught me to love myself instead of trying to change me. Bc, if she can't accept me, why would anyone else ? So why would I ? Anyway... -

I already know why I got Depression. I was diagnosed with epilepsy 4 years ago, I'm only 14. I've had a hard time coping with the fact I have that illness. I also have social anxiety because I'm afraid of any medical episodes errupting infront of others and being judged. I try not to put blame on others for my mental illnesses because I know their my responsibility.

Feeling hated by everyone around me, also feeling conscious about what other think about me. Depression can basically be triggered by anything sometimes by nothing.

I was born with dysthemia an developed major depression as a young teen.

I've been reading about positive self delusion and depressive realism. I've also read a lot about culture. I've come to the following conclusion

Capitalism is fundamentally alienating. Our bosses, landlords, cops and courts all have more control over our lives than we ever could, unless you happen to be or become wealthy, white, straight, and a man. Western society is founded on patriarchy/heterosexism, white supremacy, and private property.

But, as Marx pointed out, the prevailing ideas in a given hierarchical society filter down from the ruling class to us common people. Let's call these ideas myths, not in a derogatory way, but in the original sense of ideas that a particular people use to explain the world around them. The ruling class have a great deal of personal freedom and agency, so our society stresses a level of self control and personal freedom we regular people don't actually have, but we have to believe we do or risk feeling depressed. This is also why people who do become more openly honest about our lack of agency become ostracized, like a medieval person claiming the earth revolves around the sun. It's not about what's provably true, it's about what our myths say is true. Stephen Colbert really hit the nail on the head with "truthiness"

You can see this when, for example, someone says someone else should simply move across country to find work or something. That kind of radical life change is very easy for a person with money, who is able bodied, and doesn't have to worry about racism or sexism when finding work and a place to stay. It's very much "let them eat cake."

This relates to depression, because I'm very much not capable of positive self delusion. I've been single for years, for example. My friends well try to say it's everyone else's problem, that women are shallow or I'm too good for people. That's all simply ridiculous. When my rejection is so uniform across time and space, from different social groups and subcultures, it's much more likely that I'm just not an attractive person.

In a test to demonstrate this, researchers had two groups press a button near a light bulb, which turned on independently of the button. Depressed people saw their actions had no effect on the bulb, neurotypical people didn't. Similarly, depressed people gave much more accurate self assessments than neurotypical people.

It's hard accepting that the myths we are taught aren't true. Some people can accept it, others can't. Some people have an easy time rearranging their thoughts to be less problematic, others can't. I just can't bring myself to believe things about myself that aren't true. I have no reason to believe I'll get married, have a family, and a good steady job, an because that thought is essentially heretical, I'm further alienated from the cult of modem society. People don't like codependent people because that's not a valued trait in an individualist society, but as hard as I try I can't make myself be glad or even content to be alive and alone at the same time

After moving from my childhood home and living in another state for about a year, i came back home and my family moved in with my grandma. We were cramped into the attic and my parents began to have severe fights almost every night. I wanted to leave and go home but i couldnt. My mom would cry all the time and i was in the midst of a lot of emotional turmoil. I realized my dad was an immature selfish man when he emotionally abused us all. I was very self concious because i am very overweight. I never felt good about myself. I still dont. I cried almost everynight because my faith was failing me and it still causes me great fear. I was very acutely depressed. Now, in a new house, still with my dad and my insecurities, i am still depressed. For four years, i cannot remember being really happy. Im mostly empty and dysthymic now. I get very dark distressing thoughts about death and living a meaningless existence. I cannot really connect with others on a deep level, so i am lonely in the presence of other people. There is no one i trust to disclose my thoughts to. My physical wellbeing has deteriorated due to lack of activity because my energy levels have depleted so much. I am always bored. I just dont see myself getting better.

I am fortunate as fuck, been a child prodigy since 6. Got a great job, great family, and guess what? I'm fucked. There is no reason, it's just an illness

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Most of the reason is your brain not doing what it's supposed to do. One person is more sensitive for depression than someone else. I really depends.

The main cause of depression is a couple of neurotransmitters not working properly (mainly serotonin). That's why you feel bad (easily said, as it's quite complex ofcourse).