Dealing with a loss : Cynisim + controlled emotional numbness.
In a pair of years I've had 3 closed-relative losses in my family, for the first two I've just told myself that the bond was not so strong, therefore the pain i should have felt is relatively weak. But this time the bond was strong, and I didnt go over a simple feeling sorry. I've even started to apply this "Skill" to everyday life, with mixed result . I can say I feel quiet distant from people in general , but deep inside me I somewhat prideful.. I find pleasure mostly in nature, music, and in hobbies in general but much less with people, I walk alone for miles enjoing the beauty of solitude..
Should I feel sorry? Should I talk to someone about it?
Thank you for your attention..
An Anonymous wayfaring dude
@reservedBeechwood577
Sorry about your loss. What I did when I was going through the same thing was hold things in and everything was botteled up and then things kind of exploded. What I do now is process stuff with my therapist and we do CBT, DBT, EMDR and neurofeedback. I also attend groups.
@DanaMH
Thank you for your kind words and advice! I've already wrecked about a year ago, but I kinda overcome it, founding some sort of stabilty. Maybe it's just my rational side that wants to be sure to have found some control. The odds of having just sel-fooled myself are kinda hi. I'll really consider to talk to someone! Just to be clear, I'm ok with myself, and I dont feel particulary guilty, I'm just asking if should.
Thank to you all 
@reservedBeechwood577
We can always talk also
@DanaMH
It so kind of you, but i just wanted to share that thought! Thank you anyway!