Depression and birthdays
Happy birthday ! when I hear this i dunno why i can't process the word "happy", Its just another day , yet it supposed to be special .
I guess it would be more special to the ppl around me rather than myself since this the day i arrived to join them in this crazy rollercoaster ride , coz I am not particularly gleeful with my presence in this miserable life .
Why is it when my birthday is coming up i feel more depressed , hopeless than the ususal ?, why i feel like i am reanalyzing my whole life and how the hell i got to this point in my life , questioning every decision i made , how i should make a change , and what the hell is keeping from making that change , that i should treat my self better , and try to enjoy the moment ,
Do birthdays make you guys depressed too ?
Please share your experience and your thoughts
I turn 19 today. And as grateful as i am to my family and friends who called or fb messaged me i feel more alone than ever. Instead of going out to have my first drink or just doing something with friends i am spending most of my day and night alone. Maybe this is being self centered and ungrateful but i just really wish i had some friends right now who i could celebrate my exciting events with and they would share theirs with me.
@pinkbubbles08 I am sorry to know that you feel that way, it must be frightening to have those kind of thoughts. I really understand what you are feeling. From my experience, my birthday was on the 1st of October and weirdly I felt really depressed at that certain date, I even had some suicidal thoughts (but thankfully I did nothing harmful.) Maybe it's because like what you said, it's supposed to be a 'happy' birthday. I was so much disappointed with myself and my family, and it hit me really hard, I feel like I can do so much better in my life. Now I realized that birthdays are just normal days, sometimes you feel happy because some special things happened, sometimes it's just an another day; you are just getting older. I hope you can resolve your issues so you won't feel like that again on your upcoming birthdays.
Hey, I have also went through the same problems during my previous birthday. Even though I went out with family for a dinner, on my actual birthday I spent it alone. And even though I got FB messages from those who I did not see during my birthday, those messages had no impact to improving my mood. Basically, one of my birthday presents was being depressed for the whole day.
I have to admit, it is hard to feel appreciated and special on your big day. Society made birthdays a way to feel the center of attention from family and friends, but not many of those people are willing to put in the effort.
However, next year I'm trying to do something different. I might plan something on my own that would make me feel special. I am not sure if I will invite family and friends, but I am planning to do this on my own.