Everything is building up

Ive had depression for 6 years and now all aspects of my life are going pretty badly. Ive lost most of my friends, the person I loved moved to another country, family life is bad and my depression is stopping me from doing school work (its my final year and im trying to get into uni). I cant find the will to work and I keep breaking down. I stay in bed for the entire time that im at home. I stopped self harming in october last year after doing it for 5 years but it has made no difference to how im feeling. I have no memory before september of last year which i suspect is because of how suicidal I was and I must've blocked it from my memory. I dont know where to start getting better but I know I need to do it now before I lose everyone or before I make some big mistakes. I went to the doctor a while ago about self harming but all he did was hand me a number for a suicide prevention line and say that he'd refer me to a counsellor (which he didnt) so I dont really want to try going back to a doctor