Feeling Lost and Alone

Hello,

I'm new here, I've been looking for somewhere to share my feelings and possibly get some insight or help with that I'm feeling. For the past 4 days, with no real trigger, I've slipped into isolated state of mind. I feel so alone and worthless. I don't have many friends because i get awkward when i meet new people. I don't discuss mushy stuff with my parents so i can't bring myself to tell them about this nagging sense of hoplessness i'm currently feeling. I've had this feeling before but it has never lasted this long.

I keep telling myself that I'm useless and unwanted. That I'm a dirty, ugly waste of space... and it hurts so much. I know its wrong but i don't know how to stop it. Usually this feeling creeps in when i recall a certain experience that occurred in my early teens, but this time it came from no where, completely unprecedented. I don't feel like talking to anyone. And i feel so tired of fronting this happy carefree person when inside i feel like i'm decaying.

I tried to explain this to my partner, but i guess he doesnt quiet get the extent of what I'm saying. He say's i have no reason to feel depressed, and things hugs and kisses can fix me. But, I just end up pretending till he's gone so i can hop back in bed with the lights out and stare into great nothingness (i find it hard to fall asleep). I just end up feeling aggitated and moody.

I just feel so exhausted. Is this something that will pass? Or am i stuck in this dark pit of self-loathing?