Feeling very scared after I booked my first appointment...

@Selcouth96

I've been through several rounds of therapy - it is hard to go to that first appointment and scary. It is also normal to clam-up at first. **These are all completely normal reactions** It takes an incredible amount of courage to do what you are doing. You are NOT being dramatic and you are NOT overreacting. You have a feeling that something is not right and you're doing what you need to do to get help and figure it out so you can get better.

You've already done one of the hardest things and that's realizing there is an issue and that you need help. When I first went, I was like "It's probably not a big thing", "maybe I should just get over it". So, I know exactly how you feel.

I encourage you to keep that appointment and just talk about the reason you made it - stay strong.

I remember my first appointment, I was shaking. I made the appointment out of being overwhelmed, constantly feeling low and tired, and I had enough. But as soon I made the appt I felt sort of like you did- "Maybe I am faking it" "Maybe I am just made like this" "Are my problems even real?" "What if I'm crazy?" I thought. Bear in mind this was almost a decade ago when there was little to no importance given to mental health, it wasn't as widely highlighted as it is now. And as I walked through the door my heart was beating so fast I wanted to turn around and just leave. But with what courage I had left, I push the door open and I walked in, and immidiately felt as though I could hardly breathe. I was stuttering just to greet her and I didn't know what to say after. It felt like someone just wiped out my brain or something. Lucky for me my therapist did all the talking for the first 5 minutes. With a genuine and warm smile, she was in awe that I decided to walk in even without me expressing how hard it was she knew and acknowledge how tough it is just to walk in to her office. Then she continues to explain why talking to someone is important even if we can't explain it or even if we think that it's small or unnecessary and that made me feel significant enough to start talking. Looking back now I wasn't sure how she pieced my words together, I was all over the place and didn't even know how to begin to express myself but I just said anything that came to my mind and eventually she helped me articulate my thoughts so I could express better to her. And eventually to the people around me.

You made a good call making the appt, the next most important thing is to just show up :)

Wishing you all the best @Selcouth96 !

@Selcouth96

I had my first appointment ever yesterday with tmy doctor. I was so so scared but my doctor was really nice and understanding about it. Now I'm starting meds and proabably therapy soon. I was crying the whole day yesterday so I feel really tired. I was keeping how I was feeling inside of me for so long, it was exhausting finally spilling to the doctor and my mom.

I have a lot of mixed feelings right now, but I do think things will be worth it in the end.

I know it's scary but you can do it!! This is the hardest part and things will get better for you when you get through this <3 You're not alone with the way you feel.