Hi.. I'm wondering if it is time to go on medication for depression.. Sadness has become a part of my personality???

Take what you like from my advice, because I am no longer a believer, but when I was attempting to believe in God, Jesus, the whole story, I found the pressure to be far too immense.

I don't know what denomination you identify with, but generally speaking all Judeo based religion threatens you with some sort of punishment for your actions. You are told you will never be worthy, never be perfect, and threatened with fiery lakes of hell for failing to follow the rules. You are told to give credit for all that is good to God, all that is bad is Satan's fault or your own. You get credit for nothing, other than being a faithful follower. I personally feel that religion breeds one of two conditions - self loathing, or self detachment. How could you possibly feel good about yourself when you are constantly told to pass everything in your life to a fantastical being? How can you be expected to control your emotional state when you are told to leave it in the hands of God?

Don't get me wrong, I think religion is important, for many people. For the right kind of people. I think however, that many people who follow various religions, are doing so because they were told it was right, not because it is actually right for them. That being said, I didn't lose faith because of the struggle I had with appeasing an ever present deity that is both forgiving and punishing, I lost faith for different reasons.

I can't imagine the added pressure of being a pastor's wife. A loving and supportive spouse is hugely important for someone's emotional health, when in a committed relationship. Again, I don't know your personal situation, but I can imagine that many of your issues would be "prayed about" rather than worked on.

I hope I didn't overstep. I just figured that you wouldn't have mentioned the religion and your husband if you didn't think they could be the cause of your problems.

As for seeing a doctor, I feel finding the root of your problems is the best way to treat them. Medicine is where you should turn if you feel your problems can't be solved with action, or you may have an actual chemical imbalance causing your issues. I think most of the time though, our emotions are situational, not chemical. I'm no doctor though, so I'm not an expert by any means.

Thank you for your honesty I can understand why that is such a difficult situation to be in. I often feel that as a believer, authentic faith is presented as a smooth journey in which we trust always and our faith carries through life's twists and turns. Depression is then seen as a flaw in faith and that sometimes being seemingly apart from God is seen as a personal responsibility as something often viewed but never said as '"sin" is supposedly the cause. While of course it is not up to me to judge for others in my view depression is very much an illness but still a consequence of sin as a whole, in the same way cancer for example would not have existed in Eden, a flaw of a fallen world. I would wonder if you had ever heard of a book called 'I'm not supposed to feel like this' that offers a Christian viewpoint on depression and anxiety in addition to giving a balancedview on treatments such as medication.There is also a site I often recommend called 'getselfhelp.co.uk' that has a section and links on mental healthcare and faith.