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How to tell someone that you have depression without using the word "depression"?

January 27th, 2016

Are there any ways to tell someone you have depression without indicating that you have mental health problems? It would be great to be as discreet as possible.

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User Profile: ladylazarus1971
ladylazarus1971 January 27th, 2016

I can't imagine a way to do so and remain clear about the actuality of the problem. To not make clear the precise nature of the depression as a mental health concern would be to deny what it is. Many people in contemporary society throw the phrase around all the time that "Ohhh! I'm so depressed" or something similar to that, when what they truly mean is that they are sad. Totally different issue. To try to explain to someone that you're non-clinically depressed denies the plurality of true depression-- not simply the feeling of being sad or low. What about the insomnia? Headaches? Muscle pain? Suicidal ideation? Irritability? And so on.

No one could possibly understand what you could be experiencing if you don't tell them the truth of the matter. I assume the reason, or part of the reason, that you'd like to open up to someone about your depression is the need to communicate. I think most of us have the desire to be able to unburden ourselves, or to explain to others in order to clarify something they might otherwise never understand about what is going on with us.

But to lie by omission about the problem is simply that-- a lie. And lies are never a good basis for clear communication. Half measures won't help them understand, nor help you be understood.

Good luck with whatever you are struggling with @WhiteBearCub.

4 replies
January 27th, 2016

@ladylazarus1971 Well, I have only two options: to lie and say I'm fine, or to lie and explain it in a way that won't make them be sad for me. Either way, I don't feel like telling them the truth. I don't want them to be worried for me...

2 replies
User Profile: MeddedK8
MeddedK8 February 3rd, 2016

@WhiteBearClub Try using terms like mood disorder.

1 reply
February 3rd, 2016

@MeddedK8 Close, but still not discreet enough... :/

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January 27th, 2016

@ladylazarus1971 My main problem is that I don't want to be labeled as "The depressed kid that wants all the attention".

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User Profile: ladylazarus1971
ladylazarus1971 January 27th, 2016

I understand. It's a really tough position to be in. Absolutely no one that does not have to be in the loop about what I have to deal with is *never* going to know. And I am the one who gets to decide that, for the most part. I feel sort of like a spy-- with top secret "need to know basis" info-- which I believe almost no one seems to know.

I have had experiences that taught me the hard way that even some people who you believe are safe to share this information with are not. Always put your own comfort and safety, and privacy if that is important to you, ahead of anyone else's. It's okay to be selfish in this way.