I don't know if I'm depressed

I'm really nervous as I write this, and u don't really know why. But here goes....

I don't want to feel like I'm just trying to get a label or something, I don't know if I'm depressed. All I know is that there are moments, like now, where I feel so deflated. I don't know how to describe it. Like there's no point to anything I do, like I'm just a mistake. I swear I wasn't meant to be here. I feel like fraud most of the time, like someones going to catch me out, like I'm going to disappoint them. I'm just tired. But I'm here cos I couldn't hurt them. But I honestly can't remember the last time I enjoyed life, and didn't feel like I was lying for the sake of those I love.

Its not constant, but it's getting more frequent. Does that mean I'm not depressed?

I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone. I just feel like I should apologies. I don't really know why. I'm sorry.