Maintaining a healthy relationship while dealing with depression?
I've been seeing someone for about six months, and things seem to be progressing quickly. We love each other dearly and are close, close friends. However! I've dealt with some form of depression for a long time and lately it's been crippling. For example, I recently had to call in sick to work on short notice because I could hardly stop crying or even get out of bed. There have been times where I can barely eat or sleep from the panic, and I'm starting to lose hope. I had a medication change recently, but it kind of backfired, so I'll be changing it again soon. If that one doesn't work, I'm not sure what I'll do.
I guess my question is: I adore my boyfriend and hope to stay together, but how do I do my part to maintain a healthy relationship while dealing with such awful depression? Mostly I try to keep from bringing him down: I take time to myself when I'm feeling particularly fragile, so I don't panic-cry all over him for no reason, but I do this so often lately that I worry he might someday start to get impatient. He's been understanding and sweet so far, but I can't help but wonder if he'll start to feel the weight of my depression, too.
How can I make sure I have something to offer this relationship when I often feel like I have nothing to give?*
*(So far my strategy is to offer food. because yay, cookies!)
Hi I feel lonely cry everyday
@placidCity1574 I'm sorry that you're going through that
@Ruby2sh0eses thank you I hope your okay
@placidCity1574 you're welcome I'm doing so great in this moment...at least emotionally
@aawwdang ... I can so understand what you are going through. It is tough being in a loving relationship and having depression at the same time. I have gone through similar situation. Have you sat down with your bf and have a heart to heart about how you are feeling and what you are going through? The best thing to do in an important relationship is communication. You both need to hear from each other what each other is feeling and thinking. The thing with depression is that it makes you start negatively. What you can do is try avoid that especially with your bf, so please talk to him. Let hm know your fears. I have learned to just voice out my feelings to my love and just ask questions. Hope this helps...awwdang, I am here whenever you want to talk it out. just leave me a message and I will get back to you. Take care!
Hi, @awwdang! Thanks for reaching out to us, lovely. I recognize it took some bravery to open up.
Depression is already difficult enough to handle without maintaining relationships with other people. Sometimes our behavior can be read by others incorrectly - for example, as being too whiny or lazy, when in fact we are struggling greatly. Your concern to have a healthy bond with your partner shows your maturity and compassion and I'm proud of you that you ask yourself these questions.
I think the best solution is to be honest with your daily experiences. For people who doesn't have this disorder it's difficult to imagine the depth of pain we have to overcome every day, but it doesn't mean that they can't support you. Being honest with them will give your partner necessary insight how to support you and you won't have to spend your precious energy to hide your feelings. It's good to provide your loved one resources on this subject, so they could familiarize with the subject.
It can take time for them to adjust to this new information, so it's important to also give them space and be a little patient. But it's worth it. It's worth the courage and fear and time to have your loved one on your side while fighting with depression. It can make a great difference, really.
I encourage you also to check the relationship support foom in our community. There are different threads there who deal with the subject of relationships and depression, like this one. You're not alone, lovely.
Best wishes!
Hello again, @awwdang! I hope you're okay, lovely.
I found this article and I thought it could interest you:
https://blurtitout.org/2016/02/10/relationships-and-depression
All the best!
I am damn lonely.