Meaning of life

Hi.
So I know the meaning of life is highly subjective topic.
I made this topic as a hardcore nihillist (both in positive nihilism and negative nihilism - existencional) have a hard time understanding simple answers like "You have to find it" etc.
I think it would be OK to have civilized "exchange of opinions" but please, if that would happen, stay civilized and respectful to what other thinks.
So I think I should start :
For me, as I said, hardcore nihilist I combine two ideas of existentional nihilism. One is for me and other is for every other.
Generally I say that everything is... senseless. That our existence, feelings, problems etc. are irrelevant and have no value (in hardly mathematical way) so that equals that meaning of life is... none.
This might've been seen as hardly negative and I advocate that it isn't just for the fact how I see "worthlesness" of others.
What I think about meaning of life of others is that there is none, as I think about mine, but this could be seen from more therapeutical way. In a way "Nothing matters, so do not worry about anything".
For the way how I see my own meaning of life. One part is the same. There is none. To explain why I think there is none - as some may've already seen I am analytist type of person and I think that personal experience is nonsense unless it is backed by well made study.
The difference between my view on others and my view on myself is that on myself I practise negative nihilism.
Simply said - if I could... to put it in a more acceptable way... end my existence. I would do it. The only reason why I am still here is social influence and my inability to get a way how to do it harmlessly. (So you could technically say that is my meaning of life although I do not think so) I just think my existence is "more worthless" than of other's. Please do not get me wrong. The word worthless to me probably means someting different than to you. For me being "worthless" is not about being a bad person but it is a rather a way to describe a person overall (as I do not believe in spiritual or any other values).