Not Ready to talk
I have been struggling with depression on and off for a few years now but lately, because of pressures and responsibilities between school and work it has gotten really bad again. I keep trying to tell my parents and other older adults in my life that I have been struggling but they keep putting it aside and telling that I have it easy now an "Welcome to the real world". I wouldn't consider myself suicidal but if this is really true I don't want to go on.
Today I went back to my high school and reached out to one of the teachers I became really close with and asked for help. She told me that she wants me to make an appointment with my doctor to see about getting my medication changed and to tell my parents everything about how I am feeling, including my self harm (I have been totally clean for a few months now). I am totally fine with going back to my doctor (I actually made an apointmet as soon as I got home) but I am not even close to ready to talk to my parents about my self harm yet. I told her this but she told me i have until Tuesday to tell them or she will do it for me. I am very un-comfortable with the idea of having my parents know. This is just not a good time. I know my teacher will stick to this and she means a lot to me and I cant lie to her and told her I talked to my parents but at the same time I cant tell them. I don't know what to do. This whole thing is making me sick to my stomach and triggering my anxiety.
@bam721
Oh dear, I'm really very sorry you are feeling like this right now, the pressure is really building upon you, but firstly I would like to thank you for sharing here, I know this can not be easy, but hey look you have done it, and I'm here to tell you that takes a huge amount of courage to do that, so I am Very proud of your right now 🙂
Secondly, you have been clean for a long time, and this is a tremendous break through for you, so again, well done for this, you are doing amazing right now even though you don't think you are.
May I suggest, if you are finding it difficult to speak with your parents about this, I have a few ideas for you to consider, perhaps your parents can go along to your doctors appointment with you, this way they can will have a professional person who can advise them and educate them about your issues, secondly, maybe your parents can attend a meeting with you and your teacher, your teacher can explain in detail the pressures you are under right now and the effect this is having on you and thirdly, perhaps you can write your feelings down in a letter for your parents to read?
What ever you decide to do, I want you to know that you have been very brave for reaching out,it's not easy talking about your feelings,you have done a great job explaining here today, your deserve to get the right help and support for you, with the right encouragement, you will continue to recover and build you future.
I wish you all the very best, good luck