Questions
Hi, im new to this site and doing this all off my laptop in fear of my parents going through my phone and saying something about this.
As someone who hasnt officially been diagnosed with depression, it is very hard to express to those around me how im feeling. Alot of the time its 'Stop being grumpy' and not asking how i am. Some dont even believe me when i tell them that i think i have it. Over there past few months its gotten harder and harder,possibly due to my home life being stressful. I was supposed to make an apointment that i was recomended to do but I havent been able to call up the doctors because of the difficulties at home and the fear that they are going to tellme the same thing as before. The last time i went to the doctors they told me to look at some website that they said would help with my lowmood and it wasnt severe. I dont want togo back but it has gotten worse from my perspective. Sometimes i struggle with getting out of bed, making myself eat and even being bothered to do the neccisary things i need to do like go toschool or work. Its mentally draining.
Two of my friends have been diagnosed with clinical depression. My parents seem tothink that their behavior has impacted me to react this way. Im not entirly sure its depression i have, possibly bipolar dissorder. I have my up and down moments but its mostly down. I'm not really sure what to do at this point because the person i have been speaking to has advised me to go to the dctors but for another type of councilling 'Family issues'. It may be the cause ofthis but i dont think it will help me completly because its only focusing on the one aspect that is bringing me down. Im not sure what to do and whether i should actually go to the doctors about itif there is a chance there isnt going to be a way for me to sort this out. I also have mild social anxiety which may be one of the contrebuting factors. I just need to know if someone can give me some advice on this because i dont want to live this way anymore.
:)
@baekk Welcome to the site~ I'm glad that you're finding the courage to reach out, especially when things may not feel so great. (PS you could always go on "incognito" mode (or whatever similar) on your browser so that it doesn't leave a history that could be easily seen by your parents!)
It's hard when the people around us don't take our emotions seriously, or don't believe us when we say about how it's affecting us. I think it's reasonable that you're feeling a bit scared/worried to go to the doctor, since before it hasn't been too helpful. But, I think it can all depend on the doctor you get, and make sure to tell them how it is (eg. don't downplay your symptoms). You can even tell them about how your mood seems to be getting worse, and that it feels pretty serious to you. Don't be afraid to be persistant with your doctor, if it seems like they aren't getting it. But at the same time, try to keep an open mind. Meaning, sometimes it's not depression, but rather something else, and so the treatment will be a different approach. For example, things like stress and bad home life can cause negative moods without necessarily being caused by depression, which you would want to tackle in a different way than depression. If you're honest about how you're feeling and how it's impacting you, then I'm sure you'll be able to work out the best course of action with your doctor.
While it's true that being around people who are hurting can have an impact on your own mood, it doesn't really cause someone to have depression, plus it sounds like you have other things going on in your life that should be considered as factors too. There can be many reasons that you feel this way, but the important part is that you are feeling down and you deserve to be believed and to feel better. I would be careful with thinking you might have bipolar, because depression isn't always a constantly down mood, it's perfectly normal to have happy moments during depression, as well as "good" and "bad" days. Bipolar on the other hand, has that extreme up side to it, to the point of delusions (such as you could do/achieve literally anything) and very impulsive decisions (though of course there are different degrees to both ends of the mood spectrum).
I think, if you're wanting to go to the doctor, then it probably couldn't hurt, to just see what they say. It may be scary, but you recognize that this is something that's impacting your life, and you deserve any help you would like to get through this. You're always welcome to speak with some of our teen listeners too, if you wanted :)
@TaranWanderer Bless you, thank you for this. I do recognise that when i wrote this that i was going through an extreme rough patch and probably was speaking very rationally. As for the bipolar comment i made, i have now come to realise that it wouldnt be that because of the extreme sides of it and i dont feel like that. I do think the main part of this is due to my home life and how its affecting me but because it has been going on for such a long time it has possibly developed into what i am feeling today. I have decided to make a doctors appointment to see if i can get help for this and possibly more than i did last time from it. I know how i am feeling isnt exactly normal because i didnt feel this way 4 or so years ago (maybe because i didnt understand or know as much as i do now). I understand that people on here are not experts but i do truely apreciate the help and support i have recived from you and other people. Thank You :)
