Suicidal thoughts make my wrist throb

Hello, I have been under depression's boot for about a year and now I'm not so much sad as I am suicidal. I've called the suicide prevention hotline three times and the third got me into hospital holding. After that all knives in my house were hidden from me and I was under watch but I had one knife hidden. On Wenesday I went to see a therapist the counselour at the hospital hooked me up with and it was alright but I don't want to go back. After our session the thoughts came back and all night my veins were twitching over the thought of taking a knife to myself. I just wanted to know if this is common, I would say normal but it's not. I don't cut but I have thought about it and might try it soon, just to see what it's like. But yeah does this happen to anyone else?