What can I tell my therapist regarding my suicidal thoughts?

@energeticMap9646 Hey there I'm sorry to hear about how you've been feeling lately, but you did a great thing to reach out! Honestly I find it a little odd that you were hospitalized just from talking about your thoughts, but maybe the therapist felt it was the best way to keep you safe. I think if you tell this new therapist the whole story--of not wanting to go back to the hospital and how you do want support for your thoughts but maybe trying something other than being hospitalized at first--she might be willing to take things slower than to just use hospitalization as the first step.

You're already doing great in that you want to be honest about how you're really feeling and the thoughts you have, and I really hope that this therapist offers help that matches what you need and what you want. If you truly don't have any plans for action, I think that's a good thing to mention as well, and to me that seems like it would make it less likely to send you back. I wouldn't think you're allowed to hospitalize someone who is only having thoughts and not plans, but of course I don't want to guarantee something that is ultimately up to your therapist to determine. In the end, this is really something good to talk about, regardless of what the outcome is, but I truly hope that you get to go through therapy rather than being hospitalized, if it's what you feel would be more helpful. Sending you well wishes!

@energeticMap9646 I'm in the same boat as you except I don't see a therapist because I'm too afraid of being sent to the hospital. A very similar thing happened to me. If you find a solution let me know, I just don't tell anybody about suicidal thoughts and it works really well to keep me out of the hospital. But I admit this may not be a good long term solution.

Stay strong.

P.S. This is often the only option I know of

So I am confused by my own thoughts and whether or not they can be considered suicidal. I don't really care I guess is the most basic way of putting it. I'm not to the point where I would kill myself. Its more an indifference towards my own life. The idea of my death doesn't really scare me at all and I find myself thinking that if I were hit by a car driven by a drunk or distracted driver and ended up dead that it wouldn't really matter that much to me. Is that a form of suicidal thought? I don't know I guess mainly because its not what I would typically accociate with a suicidal thought.

@energeticMap9646

Hi!

Unfortunately there is 50 shades of grey when telling your therapist about your suicidal thoughts, because no two therapists are the same. Every (qualified) therapist has a duty of care if they feel you are at risk of harming yourself, or someone else. But what that looks like is different for everyone.

There is a big big difference in 'It would be nice if I weren't here' and 'I'm planning on killing myself tonight'. In the first one, you aren't necessarily at risk to yourself!

The things therapists want to take into account -

- How often you're having these thoughts

- How these thoughts are disrupting the rest of your life (school, work, relationships),

- Whether you've thought about how you would kill yourself and when you would do it

- If you've done anything to go ahead with that plan (i.e. writing suicide notes/obtaining weapons etc)

Ultimately, hospital is only there to keep you safe and recovery happens out of hospital. So sometimes therapists might use safety plans as a contract rather than admission.

and finally - I understand being scared of telling your therapist. But your therapist is there to keep you safe. Perhaps you could have a hypothetical conversation first, i.e. 'how would you approach a client who is feeling suicidal'? That way you can gauge by their reaction whether they are the right therapist for you. Some therapists are comfortable with it; others not so much. and it is possible to have lots of conversations about managing suicidal thoughts without feeling like you're going to be admitted.