(qenuine)Questions about depression?
Is it normal for someone who has depression to not want to get better ? Like they want to get better because it's affecting Their lives and the people around them but it's too much and rather stay depressed ... Idk lemme know pls ..thanks
Hi @Archer0303! I am glad that you asked about this. This is not a topic commonly discussed - I don't know why... Out of shame, fear, maybe?
I want to share with you something I wrote 6 years ago, but I still agree with:
"You can get attached to depression. It's your constant companion during the day, and it's your bedmate at night, so it's natural you form a relationship with it. Sometimes you've been so long depressed, you don't remember how it is to be free of its weight. You forget there's a sun, and birdsongs, and laughter. You've started to believe this void is your destined reality. You are scared of change, so you cling to it. Because as silly as that sounds, this depression is a safe house for you. You lived here so long that you know every corner of this dark cave. The vastness and freedom of free world overwhelm you. You prefer to stay here."
It is okay to feel the way you are feeling. It is not abnormal. Changes are scary, safe zones are comfortable. And we tend to seek the latter, especially when we have to deal with pain and harshness and hopelessness for such a long time. There is no shame in admitting you got attached to the depression. It may be a monster, but it is a monster you've learned to know and recognize. It is your monster and even if it hurts you every day, through the sheer repetition you have learned to live with this pain, to include it in your daily schedule, to anticipate it.
Your feelings are valid. Still, it is vital to not mistake depression for your own personality. You are so much more than your disorder. Do not fear recovery - without depression, you will not be lacking something. There will not be a void inside you, there will be no empty space, no gaping hole. You will still be whole, still you, but somehow, even more like yourself - stronger, more self-aware, more connected. You will shine brighter, walk faster, without any heavy shackles. You will feel lighter. You will laugh in amazement that you are able to smile so wide and feel at peace, without a cause, just feeling warm rays of sun on your cheeks. You will be wonderful. You just have to dare to hope.
