Fallen 'Perfect Child' (tw bullying)

Ok, so this is my first post here, so I'm sorry if I'm not adhering to any unwritten rules. When I was in early grade school, the adults in my life realized I was different. I was reading faster and more proficiently than all of the other kids in my age range. I appeared to be more capable of navigating the world than my peers. They had me take the gifted test sometime in early 2013. What I remember most about that day that completely altered the course of my life was that they had me take the test in a room that you had to go through the teachers' lounge to get to, and I was in awe of the fact that they had a vending machine in there. A freaking vending machine. I was nonchalant when the test was being given. I was an easily distractable and hyperactive child, mostly because of my not yet diagnosed ADHD. I answered all of the questions like they were nothing, because they were to me at the time, What I have yet to mention was that because of my undiagnosed adhd, I also had a pretty severe cases of RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria). Any time someone would tell me that I was wrong or would say no to me, I would take it very personally, throw tantrums, and lash out at anyone who happened to be nearby. I was never violent, but my behavior was concerning to the adults in my life. Because of this, they wanted to delay having me skip a grade (they almost had me skip 2), they thought that I needed to, but it wasn't the proper time for it yet. They had me go to the grade above me for reading and for skills (extra reading lmao) and stay with my grade level for other subjects. But since I had rsd, I would often get frustrated with the kids in my new classes because of any sort of reason. They would call me names, they wouldn't want to work with me, they would exclude me from stuff. So, since I couldn't trust anyone, everyone was my target. When I was a third grader, they finally decided I was ready, although I truely wasn't. My behavior was awful at that point and I was even mean to my friends even if they did nothing wrong. I have since given many apologies to my former classmates, and they have mostly ended well with no one harboring extreme negative opinions for me. I wish I could say the same for my new 5th grade classmates. When I sat down on that first day, numerous people thought it would be helpful to inform me that reading doesn't start until later, to which I replied that I was one of their classmates. At the time, I had a huge ego from being a gifted kid and coming from a well to do family. An ego that would be completely and utterly crushed in the years to follow. Everything was going fine until October. This was when we were going on an overnight field trip to a camp. This is the only overnight field trip that my school district offered to the elementary schoolers. I was so excited to go on it with my only friend at the time, who we'll call J. One day, j told me that we couldn't bunk together because she was sleeping with the new girl. I was crushed, no one else wanted to bunk with me, I didn't know what i was going to do. The next day, J came crawling back, and I had no choice to accept her apology, even though I was very hurt by what she did. Then came the trip, the first day went fine, I even became friends with the girl j was going to ditch me for. (We're still friends today). Then came the second. We were supposed to go on a 1 mile hike to a nearby historical site. Along the way, we stopped at a degrading bathroom, It was clear that nobody had cleaned or done maintenance on it in a long time. In this bathroom there was a strange stall. It looked like a shower stall, but there was no shower head and it locked from the outside. We were all discussing what it was for, when I went in to investigate. When I did, they locked the door and I was screaming and begging for them to let me out. Then the teacher yelled that they were leaving and I saw everyone file out. Everyone but me. I sat there crying my eyes out. Out of fear as well as sorrow. When I was finally done, I had to crawl out from the bottom and get all dirty (sometimes I still think about what would have happened if I hadn't been small enough to get out that way). When I got out, everyone was gone, they were so far ahead of me. I started sprinting to catch up to them when when one of the teachers found me. I told him what happened but he proceeded to admonish me for not keeping up with the others, That night was truely awful, we were taking showers and I was one of the first people to get in. We were supposed to be taking 2 minute showers, but i had super thick hair (I'm biracial) so it takes a minute to get it clean, and people were yelling at me to finish. I forgot to bring a towel, and I can't remember why I didn't have it on me at the time, maybe my friend was using it, but I had to wait for it, which only upset everyone more. I ended up walking out of the shower with nothing but a towel on (which really shouldn't have been a big deal, I mean we were all girls and most of us looked like cereal boxes), but everyone was laughing at me, and there were no stalls open. I had asked for ppl to hand me my hoodie or my jeans before i got out but nobody did. Regardless, this as well as other things that have happened, including being sexually assulted by my crazy ex boyfriend as well as being in an extremely toxic friendship throughout 8th grade really took a toll on my life. My grades aren't half what they used to be and I'm not taking the classes that should be in high school. This has lead to me developing severe depression and anxiety. I don't feel safe talking to anyone and I feel so worthless. My parents no longer respect me and I still feel like my friends don't care about me. I may talk more about my experiences at a later time, but this post is long enough as it is and took me an hour to write out. Uh, idk what else to say. If you can relate to any of this then we can talk can talk about it below. Have a good day.