“I don’t know”

I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what I’m doing or what happening to me. I’m so tired of everything I feel as though what’s the point in living if I hurt myself and everybody around me, I’m so sick and tired of living..I don’t want to commit nor die, I just wish I could disappear into oblivion. I feel as though the people around me who say they love me don’t need me or even think I’m good enough. I see almost everyone of my cousins and family and friends getting along and achieving things in life and succeeding with their natural just born talents meanwhile I’m trying, struggling my hardest to even get up in the morning and survive the day, putting so much effort to work harder to my dream, meanwhile there is just people or my family with natural born talents wasting their life. I’m so sick and tired, I just want to take one last breath and just rest. I don’t see a reason in anything anymore. I wake up everyday with an attitude and I hate it. I try to be grateful and thankful for the things I have. I feel as though God is punishing me for doing something wrong but I don’t know what. Im tired. I don’t know who I am, what I’m doing, what’s happening to me, or what I’m going to do with myself..honestly though I’m starting not to even care what happened to me or where I end up. I just don’t care anymore..