I don’t want to wake up
I’ve had depression for so long now. They come and go. Every time I think I’m getting better it just comes back again in a cycle. How do I deal with not wanting to wake up? How do I deal with wishing something bad to happen so I could die? I don’t know why I feel happy when I think of myself dying. I’m not so scared dying like I was before. This time I might actually do it. I can’t keep friends and I’m so lonely ever since I knew I was different from many kids. I’m so tired but I don’t let myself rest. Life is too much to handle. I wish someone could just hold me. I can’t. I can’t take care of myself and my memory is so foggy. I push people away when I want them close. How do I handle this when I’m so tired?
@KayKay01. I forgot to mention I have Major Depression
@KayKay01
Science says that when people focus on death and decay it's because they don't have a life they cherish and value.. is this you?? Maybe, but I hope something happens for you soon.. i've felt the same way as you 18 years ago and beyond.. I nicknamed myself "Truly most hated" and I was "dark" during those days. I hope you find solace at least in knowing your in good company here..🌲
@AsherTree
Yes, I feel like that a lot. I don’t have real life friends and my anxiety is bad as well. The thing is, I still feel happiness sometimes, but I get anxious when I do, or it doesn’t last.
@KayKay01
https://youtu.be/D17Tih8B-z0?si=fD8U3u9cklgo8tN7
This link is to my song 🎵 "There is a light" you can see that I own it and I nicknamed myself.. yes, I own a Nick Cave song, at least he let's me pretend I own it.. The song turned out to be bittersweet if you realize what the song is talking about. I'm glad you find good moments sometimes. It's always reassuring that you still are holding out for hope. Here's hoping you find better days..✨️✨️
🌲
im really sorry you feel this way and i understand how you feel, a lot. im still struggling but im trying to look for the positive in things or things to look forward to. examples of some things that keep me going are : upcoming seasons of my favorite shows. if i die, i’ll miss out on it. i’ll also miss out on everybody i know’s life, and what if me dying causes somebody else to as well? what keeps me going as well are updates on games and game lore. i read your bio and you like fnf. so do i, and i also like pjsk. there’s most likely going to be new lore in both games. these are the only things i can think of right now, but i hope they helped you in some way.
@muraisntreal
Thank you for learning about me. Currently I don’t have many interests, but I know our family dog won’t understand why I’m gone. I don't have many friends. I’m still thinking about it a lot.