I’m so disgusted of myself
I have a lot of things I want to do but I have no motivation to do them. School stress has taken over me and I did pretty bad this semester and I spent a lot of time trying to get my grades up too. I lay in bed all day and don’t shower for days. I feel like nothing is working out and that every mistake I make is so pronounced. Because of my grades, my parents decided that they have to keep tabs on me - I feel like I have no control over my own life. I see my friends around me not have to go through this stuff and it just makes me more depressed and lonely. I know that it’s my fault that I’m in these types of situations and I feel like I dont even have the right to feel down about this stuff. I’m so ashamed of myself when I cry. I can’t help but imagine what my life would be like if I had the motivation and energy to get things done on time. I don’t know how to get out of this hole I dug for myself.
I feel you it very hard for me to get the motivation to do anything I homeschool cuz I have social anxiety I don't get to met people honestly I don't want to my parents try to make me I just wish they understood how I feel and not how they think I feel I just wanna be able to do what I want they don't take my anxiety serious they think it's something I can just move on from I just wish they knew how hard it is to even want to get out of bed at all much less talk to people
I feel the same way - when I try to tell my parents how I’m feeling they tell me to just get over it but it’s not as simple as that. I wish they really tried to understand me rather than just tell me that it’s my fault that I’m not performing well in school or taking care of myself. They think that the best way to help me is to control every aspect of my life but that just makes me feel like I’m in shackles or something. It makes me lose myself even more as a person because I feel like I have no freedom. I hope that we both can find ways to be happier in the future.
I fell you also trying to please everyone while you are so depressed and it seems like no one cares is upsetting and emotionally draining. Motivation and school is the least of my worries right now only Bc it stresses me out more than I already am.
I’m so sorry that you feel that way, I used to struggle with similar issues and it’s so hard. I will be honest, it can be so hard to feel better but it’s so worth it! I helped myself by first changing my mindset. This can be a tedious and annoying process but it definitely makes a difference, I started by recognizing my negative thoughts about how I viewed the world and “dismissing” them. When you find yourself thinking something bad about the world instead of finding ways to support that thought think of why it’s incorrect. For example when I would think “everyone hates me” I would list out reasons why that was wrong. Starting by viewing the world in a more positive way makes it a lot easier to view yourself in a positive way! And for ways to get energy something that really helped me was exercising! I know it sounds awful but it really does help, exercise releases dopamine (a mood regulation chemical). The best part is exercising doesn’t have to be a big deal! I normally do at least 15 mins a day and you can just do it in your room! I use YouTube videos to guide my exercising, one channel I definitely recommend would be Rosie Graham. I really hope this helps and I’m always here if you need to talk! And feel free to ask me more about my experience I’d love to help in any way I can <3