Is this really worth living?
Hi I'm new
I'm only just turned 17 and people might say 'you don't even know what living is yet' but to me it's already over. The best years of your life which are supposed to be the time in school flew by so fast and..I didn't have a hopeless romance, didn't fall in love, didn't make friends or had a good time overall. I just spend my days dwelling on my depression..and now I'm stuck with working at a kindergarten. Things got broken off with my best friend of 7 years, the girl I've been seeing lost interest in me because suddenly she likes boys more. And..I hurt my online best friend once again. She wanted a little time alone but I really think I got her this time and it just frustrates me so much. She was my first big love, my first really good friend just..my everything and I had to go on and fuck it up. She meand so much to me and I keep hurting her. And that's not even the worst. It's that live is just a cycle of working till you die and it seems so..useless? I don't think I can go on any longer like this really
@peacheslovescoffee
To be positive in life you have to first find yourself, discover what you love and what kind of people you want around you, and always show kindness
It does not take time to find what you really love, there's so much are head of you. Please be kind to yourself , work towards that and your life will change for the better.
If I may ask what colour do you love and role model?
There's so many things that I love but sadly nothing seems worth enough to live. It all seems so hopeless. Everything is about working and earning money to survive. Nothing will ever change, I'll have to work till I die just to..live. Life sounds so pointless.
But my favourite color is yellow and green though I don't think I have a rolemodel. Probably some artist, maybe Bob Ross
I relate very hard and I can't give any advice but I have time tell you this. Since I can remember all I know is saddness the feeling of worthlessness and many voices shouting I am not enough. My every attempt in friendship has failed and I hurt a few too and got myself hurt a ton of times and I am not even 18 yet. And it's just like this for about 8-9 years or you can sya the years I remember. Even today I had the shittiest day where all I could think was I would be so happy if I was not here not anywhere just if I wasn't. But a month ago I had this moment I don't even know how and why but I felt happy??? I cried so hard but I was happy. I was dancing and you should know I left stopped dancing years ago when my depression got worse and I had no confidence and energy but that one day is so precious to me now. Because I truely ahd forgotten what it was to be happy. It's funny🙂. I also ate 3 meals taht day and drew so much and danced for 3-4 hours and then passed out at 4am. But it was a good day. The next day I did wake up with a sweet bitter feeling but I experience happy. From then I didn't have happy moments but still it's good to know taht it can happen right?? I don't even know where imi wanted to go with this long a$$ paragraph 🥺😐 but I don't know broo just know I love you a total stranger who doesn't even know you but I love you so much and want nothing but sweet lil mushroom moments for you and I know you will and can and should pass through this. I am still in this pit but I am hoping we can be out and see the bright shinning sun burning our skin alive yet thats what I wish for 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓🍄🍄💓🍄💓🍄💓🍄🍄💓💓💓🍄🍄💓🍄💓💓
Love.
