Is this toxic

Hi, I’m not gonna say my real name so just call me Mia and my pronouns are she/they so I’ve been using 7cups for years but I created a new acc, I needed a fresh start I just want to know if some behaviours and witnessed with my mother is toxic or not But I guess we need a bit of a backstory with my parents and history of abuse I’ve come from an emotionally and verbally abusive dad who was also extremely neglectful he would manipulate me from a young age and poison me against my mother so he wouldn’t have to pay child-support and that was my only use for him he would also say some horrible things to me that I don’t wanna repeat as well as neglect me Thankfully I got out of that situation without having to run away because my mum said that she’s happy for me to live with her full-time. During the pandemic my mum got a little more toxic than usual I blamed it on stress but the pandemic has settled down and she’s still being toxic For example I will make a tiny mistake like forgetting to close a window And you’ll keep going on and on about how horrible of a daughter I am and how if I piss her off on what time she’s gonna cut me off completely and I’m gonna have to stand and fend for myself (basically saying she’ll kick me out) She’s called me useless, asshole, stupid etc. and constantly demeans my emotions and feelings For example I want to defend myself or get angry during an argument she’ll start lecturing me about how on ungrateful of a daughter I am and how she does everything for me and this is how I repay her by emotionally blackmailing her. But there are times when my mum is really cool, really funny and I really enjoyed my time with her so I feel guilty for saying these things She says my mental health issues first world problems and demeans it She makes me going to counselling a big chore for her and makes me feel guilty for having all these problems I tried telling my friends about it but they’re so invested in their own dramas in their own lives that my problems are usually brushed aside. I don’t blame my friends though being invested in your own things is a completely normal part of life and very common I just wish I could talk about it to find out if this is toxic behaviour or not or am I just being dramatic Because sometimes I feel like I’d be better of on my own Without my mum demeaning, yelling, guilt tripping, gaslighting, hearing her talk about me over the phone badly, over exaggerating the truth to make me look bad etc I ask my friend today if she thinks My mum is toxic and she didn’t give me a straight answer I did that the other day to her about a girl she liked because I didn’t know the girl and she got annoyed at me when she did it to me I just left the conversation because I’m tired of fighting I’m honestly tired of it I honestly just wanna know if some of the stuff I’ve mentioned is toxic because I genuinely don’t know and sometimes I feel like it’s my fault because my mum really is a cool person sometimes and I feel guilty for saying stuff like this. This is not the full story and it’s not half the extent of stuff my mum does but it is just basic examples I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense I’m using voice to text speech because I’m in an awkward situation and I can’t type so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense Thank you