Meaning of life?

I feel like life for me doesn’t have meaning anymore. It’s kinda like I’m drowning trying to swim but my hands and feet are chained up. I used to loved poetry and a lot of other things but I don’t feel the emotions I used to feel. I’m worried, scared, empty. One of the only emotions I feel is panic. Panic and sad. When I’m angry it gets so bad I don’t even recognize myself, I throw things, break things, hurt people. My “friends” say I’m fine and don’t need to be so “dramatic” but I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know...me.