Mostly Just Venting ((Bojck Kinnie Moment🤪))

I’m 19, and i know im young to be saying this but like... i don’t think i’ll ever change my destructive behavior unless i hit a rock bottom. im painfully like the character bojack horseman. im never held accountable for anything i do. i commited a felony and nothing still hasnt really changed... i need something that FORCES me to change because i haven’t been able to find the strength to care otherwise. I am by all definitions just kind of a burden. im not even being self deprecatory, i don’t do anything unless its in my best interest. and i blame it on being kinda sad and unmotivated. im tired man. idk where to go. i don’t like feeling like this and i don’t really see myself actually doing anything about it... but i want to, obviously..