Rant
I feel my sadness drowning me further and further down the drain.. I hate seeing everyone else having a loved one in their life whether that's in their family, partner, or friendship, but yet I don't have a single person. I don't understand why people don't love me, my own mother doesn't seem to love me, or any of my other family members. Why do other people get the privilege of love meanwhile I'm practically made to suffer alone? Why can others gain unconditional love meanwhile I have to constantly fight for it?
As entitled as this will sound, I don't want to live like this anymore, or want to give most people a chance anymore because they all just leave me after making promises they'll stay. I know you can't force people to love you, and always be there for you, but my emotions are always invalidated because in this world I'm expected to always have my own back when most days I can't even walk on my own two feet without wobbling. (metaphor) I wouldn't be as depressed as I am if all of those people didn't leave me for no reason... if my mom never said those things... if maybe my family gave me a chance, if my therapists actually tried to help me when I told them the truth only to have them doubt it.
It makes me sick to see other's people's happy relationships because I can never have it. (I don't mean only romantic relationships)
I feel like an alien, lost. Not part of this world, but somewhere different. Maybe there's a world out there for me but I haven't found it?
Who knows.
@Dreamy89 aww sweetie life is hard I know🙁 I don't have any family I never did, never had the option to socialise or have friends, I wasn't brought to this world till I was 18. So yeah I understand how lonely the world can be, and how heartbreaking it feels to never be loved 💖🙁 people will always come in and out of our lives, but never give up on people and never give up on yourself 💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗💗 oneday things will get better 💖
@Tinywhisper11
It's different though, we as a society have allowed people to disrespect us and we're supposed to just "get over it" or else we're the monsters.
I've had multiple people who blocked me all because I said one minor comment such as "I like this song" or they wanted advice and they didn't like the advice I gave them that btw gave them in the most polite tone, they were narcissists who only cared about themselves. Society supports narcissists such as my mother who tears people down until they are ready to d1e from all the pain, and we are expected to tolerate it. Too many people have left me I don't think it is okay, it's not healthy for a human to be constantly isolated and abandoned. It's disrespectful, but it's quite normalized now to be ghosted and treated like cr@p just because the other person feels like doing so for selfish reasons. The pain from all of this quite literally kills you after time, and causes trust issues that let's be honest will probably never be fully healed until the day we d!e.
I'm just ranting and don't have the intention of arguing or fighting, I am just very upset right now as to why I can't have anybody in my life who will stay and be loyal and using this post to express my points. Why I'm expected to tolerate narcissists and the problem is always the victim. It makes me sick how twisted we are and blind to everything that is told to us.
I'm sorry to hear you've gone through the same thing, no person should EVER go through that! I hope you are feeling better now! :) Thanks for the hug 💓 I hope things will get better for me, I really do.
@Dreamy89 sits beside you and hugs you tightly 💗 you have every right to be upset, society gets a lot of things wrong, I hope one-day that changes. I'm not sure what to say best to comfort you, sorry😕 so just know I hear you and I care 💖
@Dreamy89 oh I know exactly what you are talking about. Please, listen to this, everything will work out at the end. I know that right now it may seem impossible but everything works out in the end. Give yourself some time and start going out more, you may not be extroverted and I get that, but why don't you give it a try? It surely will be hard but there is no reason for you to just stay quiet and not try to make a change in your life. It will take courage, but I am sure that you will make it if you have faith in yourself. Talk to people, maybe join an activity that will make you socialise or something, do not give up. As for your n=mother, unfortunately we don't chose our parents and there is nothing that you can do. Just, don't listen to what she says all the time and try not to let her affect you.
@annarig21
Oh, about that. I should've mentioned something about that, I live in a small village with only a couple hundred of people with most the population being elderly people, otherwise it's people my age who bullied me in school. This is a village located in the middle of nowhere so I can't make friends outside even if I wanted to.
@Dreamy89 oh I didn't know that. Is there any chance of you moving out of there or is it difficult at the time?
I sent you all my love and support💗💗
@annarig21
Thank you for your kind words though ^^
It's nice to know someone relates to my struggles and took the time to read my post!
@Dreamy89I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Your pain is real and you deserve love and support. You’re not alone, and there is hope for a better future. Keep holding on—you matter so much.