TW suicidal thoughts

i have been struggling with suicidal thoughts for a really long time now and have attempted before. i have been feeling worse recently and told one of my friends about it and obviously they were trying to help and i promised them i wouldn’t do anything but i feel like they think that just because i promised them i won’t do anything that i don’t struggle with the thoughts of it. i obviously don’t want their attention 24/7 but i feel like they don’t care enough about how i feel especially considering they’re the only person i’ve told about it. i don’t know if this sounds really selfish or not i don’t want it to it’s just something i don’t want to tell them because i know they’re trying to help