idek any more

2 years ago i was in a really bad place. i constantly thought of sewer side i was always tired and felt either numb or really sad. I was bullied, my friends got bored of me, and my parents thought i wasn’t good enough. on three separate occasions a had a sewer side note written and a plan to commit sewer side. but i chickened out. i tried to talk to my mom abt it but she brushed it off. the year after was ok. but school is approaching and it feels like im getting worse again. i haven’t been out of bed in awhile, im not answering my friends, i’ve gained weight( which im very self conscious abt), and i’ve been lashing out on people that i care abt. i don’t know if im actually depressed or it’s just hormones idk anymore. i’m not in a crisis