i have no idea whats going on with me

to an extent, ive already constructed my identity as a person. its been existing for a while now, and im scared to lose myself in my own past now that i have everything laid out in front of me. my name is tenjira, but people irl call me [_]. i"m a media artist & i love the old internet. i listen to music often and i love to draw and code and make webpages. ive been developing a comic about hackers from the future, called [_]. i dont waste time thinking about philosophical shit, and i dont waste my time thinking deep thoughts. i like fun and i hate serious situations. i love to hang out more than anything in the world. i spend most of my time having fun and talking to my two closest friends online. together, we make a three-piece alliance. all three of us have webpages. for a while ive been feeling unusually empty and braindead, and its been taking a toll on my overall existence. it began once my internet came back. i'd been relying on mobile data for about 2 or 3 years now. everything seemed a lot more simple and i was extremely happy and excited, but the shock of dropping back into facebook and meeting new people, and not being able to resonate with the crowd, made me inevitably spiral my identity out of my hands, because my mind wanted to be like them. i wasnt able to stop before it got too bad, and i got alienated. i didnt like it, but i had no way of stopping. i felt myself lose my identity and i felt myself adapt to the crowd. im extremely easily adaptable to crowds, and it made me feel like shit. i was just blossoming, i was beginning to truly be myself, and its fucking horrible to feel like this. i'm now a completely different version of myself, much less individual. i no longer care about my comic that much. i no longer want to work on websites, and i no longer care much about a lot of the things that made me so me. i spend my time thinking deep thoughts, and i spend my time spiraling downwards into negative whatever human bullshit pops into my head. at some point, im not going to be able to take it anymore, and im going to have to isolate myself or something. im extremely unadapting to most situations. i wish i could be my own person. what do i do? i want to be myself again so badly