i’m not sure

hi, i’m 18 years old. i have had my ups and downs with mental health, but it has really been a low for the past year or so. i am repulsed by eating and when i do it’s flavorless. i can’t sleep since the summer and meds don’t help. i don’t really have anyone to talk to about this besides my doctors and therapists... sometimes it feels lonely because my two good friends live far away. one lives across the world and the other lives across the country. it’s weird. i know that if i had a friend close by i wouldn’t be feeling half the things i’m feeling. friends make you feel needed and necessary because you can be there for them and help them out. so i’m not sure where this is going. i guess i just need some support to feel like i’m not alone. i’m also always nauseous and have panic attacks a lot. i think that’s the anxiety but the depression is just me having zero motivation to do anything, even eat, until it must be done i. e. i’m about to pass out or an assignment is due in school.