Bottling Things Up....
So things have really been testing me lately and i am at one of my lowest points i didnt even know i could get to. For me right now there doesnt seem to be light at the end of the tunnel and i feel trapped in my own brain and i really really dont know how to escape. Maybe i cant.
I talk to listeners who i trust and i try to be open because i know i need to vent but it is sooo blooming difficult and after talking for a little while i feel obliged to tell them that im okay and not still crying and feeling defeated. Dont get me wrong talking to them helps so much because i just need a friend and some company.
I honestly dont even know what im saying and trying to say at this point.
I just feel so lost alone and cant stop crying but i cant open up to say whats going on and im scared. Really scared.
Sorry for this. If you read all that i apologise.
@JoyIntoDarkness
Some of us are not listeners and in talking to us you don't need to bother about any protocol...
I suffer from major depression, 9 years now..you can ope your mind and your soul and cry or cuss your way out of groef, just be free...
@GreyMirror
I just feel i cant put people through it as its dark and i hate being a burden to people ...
@JoyIntoDarkness
Believe me, nothing is as dark as the places I am in, so just be free, let go and express...
@GreyMirror
How do you know... you dont know whats going on in my life i feel like your comparing which shouldnt be the case because it shouldnt matter whose in a darker place point is we both struggle. But no i cant let go... sorry
@JoyIntoDarkness
I told you I am not a listener and I do not obey the rules...
Talking about myself was not comparing but a way for you to identify...
Go on your path...sometime you will find enlightment, or not...your wish...
You remind me of something...
@GreyMirror
Okay im sorry... and what do i remind you of?
@JoyIntoDarkness
Of a strong being...
A marine being which has a shell and when tjreatened it goes inside lightning fast to protect itself...
Please never say sorry to me 🤗😊
@GreyMirror
I dissociate when i try to open up... because i cant let myself express my feelings
@JoyIntoDarkness
You need to build confidence and feel protected to do that...confidence I had, protecred I was never not...
I love your Unicorn, noble beings...
One of my fav movies was "Neverending Story", which featured a Unicorn...
Magical...
@GreyMirror
Unicorns are very powerful symbol for me and have been since i was a little one. Magical, elegant, strong, gentle but powerful...
@JoyIntoDarkness
Immortal too, Queen Elisabeth had a Unicorn (narwhal) horn to protect her about bad things...
Unicorns are beautiful beings...
@GreyMirror
Indeed indeed
@JoyIntoDarkness
"There is MORE in the mirror than my PAIN. There is MORE in my life than my PAIN and what lies behind it is BEAUTIFUL!"
@GreyMirror
Thats my quote...
My favourite quote...
@JoyIntoDarkness
Yess, I liked it so I thought I would quote it myself
@JoyIntoDarkness
You can't imagine how perfectly that quote applies to me...it is meaningful to me...
@GreyMirror
Its meaningful to me alot always has been... are you an adult or teen?
@JoyIntoDarkness
Officially I am an "adult", but I shall forever be a kid because I am...
A dreamer...😉🤗😊
@GreyMirror
Haha love it xD
@JoyIntoDarkness
Glad I could give ypu a spark of hope...
@GreyMirror
Thankyou x
@JoyIntoDarkness
😉you shall find me here in need🤗😊
@GreyMirror
Agree with it.
@JoyIntoDarkness
7cups is to help people. People here volunteer here. If listener feel you r over burden to them they will say. You need help if time being you stop thinking all this and openly take help to heal that will more beneficial to you and listeners. Later once you feel better you can slowly reduce taking help.
Second option when you feel comfortable with listener than tell them hey at any moment you feel I am taking lot of time or energy please freely tell me.
I had talked to many listener you r genuinely ready to help at their best. Open about their limit or restriction. Take care.
@Maturefriends
Thankyou i appreciate this. I have listeners i trust but i feel i built a wall now that is blocking me and i cant break it down. I appreciate your response and insight. Thankyou xx
@JoyIntoDarkness
I am worried. You r hard on yourself. I am always here to talk.take care.
@Maturefriends
Thankyou - same goes to you <3
@JoyIntoDarkness
This happened to me and it hurts,it really does
@Sosaperalta
Its not fun at all, always here if you need to vent too xx
@JoyIntoDarkness
Aww thx
@Sosaperalta
You are most welcome xx
@JoyIntoDarkness
I guess I have a friend to talk to now. Always know that that unicorn inside you is confident and will never die.
@Sosaperalta
Thankyou sooo much that means a lot <3
@Sosaperalta
Nice to copy other people's words...
@GreyMirror
and all credit to you sorry
@Sosaperalta
Sank you sank yiu sank you😂
@JoyIntoDarkness
This happened to me and it hurts,it really does
I want to tell my parents about how i feel down and empty so often but i feel as though i won't be believed or i'll get the "depression is a serious issue, don
@JoyIntoDarkness
hi I understand how you feeling as I have been there myself for quite a few years . I'm not there anymore I still bottle everything up and whatnot but I'm not as bad as I use to be I got things going for me now I have a job and a dog that I love so much. Things get better. Recovery is like a rollercoaster you go up down up down up down until the ride mellows out and your like maybe things will be okay after all
@captainMarvell7
It means a lot that you express your journey and i appreciate it thankyou so much <3
@JoyIntoDarkness just don't ever give up okay no matter how tough it is or how much hope you lose. Remember You can't have rainbows without the rain and storms never last forever.
I just don't know anymore. I constantly feel like crying, I'm trying to act like everything is okay, and I'm sick of it. I keep bottling up my emotions but it only makes me worse. I don't know how to stop. I feel like my depression is getting more worse and I don't know what to do. My medicine is no longer affective and it's making me hopeless, I can't go to the doctors due to the quarantine and change my dosage so that's great. I feel completely and utterly useless. I keep trying and staying strong, but it's absolutely useless, I don't know what to do. I've been using my coping skills, but they also aren't affective anymore. I feel like I'm stuck in my own mind and I can't stand it. I don't know what to do and I'm completely lost.