HI...

I really dont know what i'm suposed to say. yesterday threw me into a downward spiral that is crushing me. yesterday was my birthday and i argued with my wife all day. she pulled my hair and bit my face... yes she bit with her teeth my face. it ranks number 1 at teh worst birthday ever. I'm not stranger to crying on my birthday but that took it to a whole new level. so now i'm sitting here at work listing to tom waits and thinking alot about running away... ending things... i'm just so tired of it all. everything is hard and it seems sadness is my natural state. Honestly if it wassnt for tom waits i wouldnt be sitting here typing this... it's all that is keeping me sane right now. He knows... if nobody else knows... i think he does... i'm trying to pull myself out of the mire... listing to this green grass song over and over again and feelign myself sliding deeper.... i feel alone and scard of the thoughts in my head...