Hello, Im new
Hi, so im not really sure how to start but last 7 motnhs were so rough and bad for me. I started doing bad things to myself and all that shit. I want to not live anymore and Im just 14. I need someone. I have friends but I dont wanna bother them nor my family. I went to few therapy sessions but they had to give me new therapist and now I'm waiting for him but I think they forgot about me. I don't feel like me anymore and I don't remember last time someone truly cared about me, neither I care about myself so I don't blame anyone just to be clear. I starve myself and then I binge and it's never ending cycle. I want to be skinny. Girls my age says they want my body but I think they say it just so I won't feel bad. I have this one friend who is struggling with depression and she started to leave me, she is 8 months older then me and she will start high school this year and she will probably replace me. I care and overthink too much and I need to turn my emotions off. How to live?
Hey, you say no one truly cares but there's definitely a lot of people that do, I do. I felt the exact same way as you once and lemme tell ya its NOT gonna last forever, the pain you're going through. And I may not know how you look like, but i know for a fact that you're beautiful. You know why? The way you're talking, it shows your inner beauty and that counts WAY more than what's on the outside, way more. You seem like a very nice person who is going through a lot. Most adults would tell you you're simply "growing up" but that's bs. Anyone can have a hard time regarldess of age. And dont worry, you will definitely not be replaced, once a friend always a friend. She may gain new friends like anyone else would (and she should because it sounds like she needs some nice caring people like you around her in an unfamiliar environment) but you were there first and will always be there too. No one ever forgets about true friends, besides you'll definitely get to be reunited with her soon :) Sometimes, its good to feel. If you want to cry, you should. It'll make you feel much better and calmer after, I speak from experience. You'll be okay. It may seem like there's more downs than ups sometimes but that's life. I believe you can be happy again, and you will ♡
