Hello This is me

Hello I am new to the group and I am new to this in general!!!! Let me start in saying that I am bubbly person. But deep down inside I feel like I am drowning! Hahaha so I am just gonna lay it out there. Not sure if it's the place to do so but gotta get it off my chest. Guys I am struggling at life! I feel like I am failing at everything. After my last boyfriend (single about 4 years). I just been going down hill. I don't think it's about the break up. Just life in general. I feel like no one wants me. I feel worthless. So much so that I allow unhealthy interactions with a man who has no intentions to know me or respect me. He just swings in by when he wants and dissappears. In my heart I think OK maybe he has changed. And boom there it is. I have gained wait to the point its affecting my health. But you know mentally I am exhausted. I am daily depressed, anxious and just overwhelmed by it all. I am 30 and no where I wanted to be in life. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!