Hi I guess

Hi I guess? I've struggled with depression since I was like 9, though it got significantly worse in my late teens. I've done some therapy and it was good and learned some really good tools. I'm struggling a lot again lately and honestly would really like to go back to therapy but am too broke. Hoping this format with real people might help. I feel like every day is such a fight. I want to keep fighting but I'm so incredibly tired. Some days it feels like it would be so much easier to give it all up.
I'm not in crisis and I'm not yet into that deep dark blackness and numbness that my depression can be, but sometimes it's like I can feel myself being pulled back towards it. I'm not really sure what I'm looking to find here. Someone who could listen unattached like a therapist? Lend advice? Or maybe just people who understand the way I feel because they've felt the same thing. And that could convince me that this thing, these feelings and thoughts, aren't real. Or at least aren't all reality is. The very worst thing about deep depression is that it tricks you into thinking it will never end, never get better. Hopelessness is the scariest place in the world. I refuse to go back!