Hi, I'm Alex.
Hi. Ive been reading stuff on here for a couple weeks now but havnt introduced myself. Im Alex and i seem going deeper and deeper into a pit of isolation and depression and sometimes i just need to make some kind of communication so im not stuck in my head all the time. Its been maybe 5 months, slowly dropping people out of my life until its just me now and i dont really speak and i burn my skin a lot and it makes me feel so gross and like i have to hide all the time. Ive just dug myself so deep into a hole. But aside from how messed up i am, i also play guitar, and like music, poety, walking in the forest, and coding computers. Feel free to message me just to chat. I think im nice to chat with sometimes. Anyways thats my intro, i hope i find some people that i connect with and can express myself to. Love. Alex.
@Puddlemirror
Hey there. Please don't burn yourself. I know those may seem like hollow words, but as someone who used to like getting poked by needles (throwing this out there I never did heroin) and still has a weird addiction to twisting string until my fingers shed skin it's a habit I've found shame in. I mean I know intullectually this is bad. Burning is obviously worse but still it's in the same realm of wanting to release negative emotions through pain. I understand if that's why you choose to burn yourself. I understand the isolation part too. Hermit crabs make a lot of sense to me. Haha. But yeah, I like being social but am at the point where I don't feel good enough about myself to be social.
My dad has been playing guitar for about 50 years, so I encourage you to put those negative feeling you have into creating music. Even if no one likes it, I hope you can feel happy that you created a song for you. Someone is bound to like it, but I do suggest using upscale and downscale in whatever chords you come up with.
@dayhawk68 hi. I try not to. Right now i dont feel like i have to. My guitar deffinily helps. I can distract myself by writing songs and escape for a little bit the constant dread that i wake up to and live with everyday. I can enjoy being a hermit sometimes if i really focus on doing the things i like to do like that. But i really miss my friends and wish i was able to be in their lives like i use to. But i cant even speak correctly, i just hang my head and mumble and cant make eye contact and have these scars all over my arms. So nobody knows how to be around me. They probably think i dont want to arohnd them anymore. I wish they knew how much i miss them. Thanks.
@Puddlemirror
You should tell them then, but if they have unfriended you then I know what that's like. I had a friend who I lived with who rejected me essentially. Weird thing is I think she was wise in ending our friendship. I wish her all the best, but at the same time if she came back in my life I would be a bit more guarded. I'd be nice, but guarded. I will say that burning yourself only alienates you more. As someone who has had an actual suicide attempt and had a letter and everything I can say that it's not worth it. Burning yourself seems to me like going down that path. I might be still suffering now with my own problems, but if I had gone through with it I would have hurt the people I loved more than I thought I would. Hurting yourself like that doesn't solve anything. Many times people think they're worthless because of what others have projected onto them.
I say you do not have to burn yourself because your skin is worth protecting.
Hope that helps. :)
Hi I'm rishita
@Esha1169 hi rishita :)
@Puddlemirror
I know this is really cheesy but im here for you!! I know what falling into your own sadness and dark thoughts feel like... and everytime you think youre better you coming crashing down again. So you ever need someone message me!!
❤❤❤