Hi, I'm Lilian

I don't even remember if I introduced myself, but I don't think so. Let's assume I didn't.

I'm Lilian, 23. I think I met depression when I was around 8. Three years later I was so miserable that I still can't find words to describe it. But I had no clue it wasn't normal, no clue I needed help and I felt extremely guilty just asking myself if I possibly may have needed some care.

At 13, I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I had to admit I was hurting, and I made sort of a miracle happen: I got out of depression on my own.

For something like 7 years, I managed it, even thought I struggled a lot with self esteem, self care, anxiety, social skills... I had no idea what being cared for felt like, no idea I had boundaries that had to be respected, and this got me in a lot of troubles, and I eventually collapsed again at 21. I was fighting really hard to keep myself together, but eventually I exploded. And I never recovered completely.

I'm 23, and I don't evev know if I can state I still have depression. For sure, it's not severe as it used to be. It strikes just in bad days and it's not something continuous. I was never diagnosed by a psychiatrist though. I've been in therapy for almost 2 years now, and according to my therapist I've had depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and I've been suicidal. The only thing I'm pretty sure I still have is anxiety, but I can't consider myself free from depression and eating disorders