Hi I’m Luke
Hi All,
I’m Luke. I don’t have many friends, I have a family that loves me, a partner that loves me, and my partners family love me too, I have a house, I have 2 dogs, I have a full time well paid permanent job, I’m healthy, enjoy sports BUT I can’t feel happiness, I can’t feel content. Why? Am I abnormal? Is there something wrong with me?
I take 150mg sertraline daily, this makes me feel numb, emotionless and empty, BUT it stops me being anxious, it’s stops me fearing anything in life; I don’t even fear death, I would happily accept it, but this doesn’t necessarily mean I would end my life, I’m just not happy with who I am, I don’t know who I am or who I should be.
I find talking to like minded people really helps me, but that’s difficult to find as we don’t speak out to one another, we all suffer in silence? Let our thoughts takeover.
@carefulDime6870 Hello, first of all, it is really brave of you to share your struggles with us. It is also very insightful that you've recognized and named all the positive things that you have going on in your life! A supportive partner and family are great assets, as well as a house and a job and pets. (Dogs can be amazing support animals.) I'm sorry to hear that your medication doesn't seem to be helping with your depression symptoms.
Some things to consider: 1. You've already recognized your depression and anxiety and taken helpful steps to improve your symptoms, which is wonderful. You are on a good path! 2. You may want to think about making a medication change. 3. You did not mention that you have a therapist. If you'd like to connect with someone professional, let us know and we can share more information with you.
@carefulDime6870
Hey Luke, up until 6 months ago I felt just like you do. I started having issues with depression about 8 years ago and every year got worse and worse. In my mind I had it all too, 4 healthy kids great paying job doing what I loved and a great wife that would take a bullet for me. Yet I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere and nothing made me happy. I would wake up every day miserable and be a mean guy to my family. Felt so bad I made myself sick sometimes. I got to the point where I wondered if I was gone would anyone even care?? Anyway, I went and got help. I was prescribed some meds that really help my depression and I will say it turned my life around! I do have to say this though, flip the script on yourself and your environment! Maybe there is something you did that made you happy at a point in your life that you forgot all about. I grew up as a child in the 80s but really grew up in the 90s. One day I was watching a show on tv the was taking place in the 80s and for some reason those few episodes I watched made me remember my child hood. Those great times when the only worry was did I do my homework and still have time to ride my bike with the neighborhood kids. Or the cars of the eighties, the iroc z camaro, 85 trans am, 5 liter mustang etc, some where during that show I found happiness again. I know I’ll never own a GT performer bike again but I look at them on eBay and remember the hood ole days.
Now I’m not telling you to do the same but I guess what I’m trying to say is the older we get the further away from the things that made us happy in the past. So think about the things u did a long time ago that you can sit back in a chair and laugh at some things you did when you were a kid. Then when I get angry I just mentally go to those times again and I remember who I am.
I hope I didn’t bore you! I just know where your coming from when you want to talk to someone and you can’t because nobody wants to talk.