I don't want to be depressed again

Hi, I guess I'm shouting this into the void.

I'm scarred I'm not strong enough to fight my way out of depression again.

I suffered depression in my early twenties. And getting out of it was hard. Harder than anything I've ever done.

It's coming up on 3 years since my last real relationship. My ex finished law school in those years, I lost 3 jobs. My life seems to have gone nowhere.

I try to remind myself that Covid was disruptive. But it just doesn't stick. I've struggled to get work in my field. And I feel so lost and pointless.

And having finally left home. I have no energy. I can't motivate my self to do anything I enjoy. And my depression keeps getting worse. I actually find myself missing Covid lock downs because at least then I had an excuse.

And I find myself asking over and over.

Am I strong enough to fight my way out this time?