I'm new here
I moved from DC to Indy 3 yrs ago in hopes of less stress and better opportunities. I've not made 1 friend here. There's nothing but temp jobs here. I'm on my 4th job after so many lay offs. My current job is awful and I was lied to about my tasks. I needed to be around people to save myself but on day 1 I realized it was omitted that my entire team was telecommuting and I was in an office alone. I'm so repulsed by managers constantly lying about jobs just to fill their body count. My bosses (I have 2 & they live on opposite parts of the US) are passive aggressive, encourage it in the team, and have no idea how hard I've worked nor do they care. I'm too educated, but the glass ceiling for women is always on the floor.
I think about killing myself all the time. I'm so lonely. I hate this town. My cat had to be euthanized and I got a lecture I was not producing as fast as my colleagues (who have been doing this for yrs & I've been doing this work for weeks). I'm looking for other work but it's December and no one is hiring. I need strong medicine to help me not kill myself. If I didn't have pets, I wouldn't be alive.
@limegreenLemon2810 I am sorry to hear that you are going through so many things. It takes a lot of courage and I am proud of you that you are still fighting your ways against the odds. It is understandable to feel the way you are feeling. Did you try contacting a counsellor for the medication? You can always reach out to listeners for support, we are always there to talk to you. Sending you hugs.
My biggest problem is that I see things so differently. I really didn't start out depressed. Our culture makes me depressed because so many things seem so needlessly and obviously wrong and yet never get fixed or even noticed by the vast majority of the population. Take something incredibly simple and trivial as an example: Parking tickets. It says right on the ticket that the fine is X amount. And it makes sense that there should be a punishment associated with breaking the law. But shouldn't that punishment be the same for everyone who breaks that law? But how can this be true if the fine is a fixed amount? Clearly for a poor person the fine might mean they must miss a meal (or even several.) But for a very wealthy person it may be utterly negligible--completely meaningless. How is this fair? And why aren't people clamouring to fix this. One country actually does see it this way and bases their fines on a day's income, whatever that is.
Besides making me depressed, and making it impossible to have any real respect for our justice system, or our culture (and it's not just this one most trivial example I could think of--from my perspective practically every aspect of our society is morallly bankrupt, deeply unfair, and even criminally irresponsible) it also undermines the will to even be a part of humanity.
