New here and am so alone

Hi!

I am a work (full time) at home mom with a hyperactive 4 year old. Working from home is not all it's cracked up to be. It's lonely, you don't get out to lunch and are expected to clock in exactly 8 hours of work. I've been dealing with depression all my like and diagnosed with Bipolar 2. I also am an alcoholic who after 11 months, fell off the wagon once my dad died. My head is always foggy, I'm always tired a d can't concentrate. Work starts at 9 a.d ends at 5 while trying to keep a 4 year old busy. Yes, we tired daycare but my daughter was tramatized by it. She freaked out and cried every day after 2 months of it. Both grandmas are too sick to watch her and my sister is too busy with her own life to help. Everyday I have a panic attack at 3:00 pm for some reason and feel so damn depressed that I dont care how sick the alcohol makes me. I don't drink when it's me and my daughter. I wait until her dad is home and then sneak it. I feel so trapped at home like a prisoner. We are allowed a 30 min non paid lunch but not much I can do with that time like take me kid to the park. The pay for this job is what makes me stay for we live paycheck to paycheck. I'm just so tired of being alone and trapped.