Out of Denial

I guess it all starts here. I have isolated myself while using drugs and alcohol to cope. The loss of both my parents jas made me feel so alone on the world and i just stopped reaching out and even wanting help. I know that something has to change. The symptom that drives me to use in the first place needs to change. My outlook and perception needs to change. I just looked at this page for so long. So much on my ming and going on inside but i couldnt bring myself to even type something at first. I guess alot of work needs to be done and i can not keep putting it off.