Why can't I reach out for help
Ive never been one to show my emotions or talk about my feelings to anyone, but for the past few months I have not felt right. I dont know if it was finding out my mom cheating on my dad, or if it was being denied of my dream career because of medical issues. Possibly its knowing Ill never get over my damn stutter. Or maybe being unemployed for my first time did it. Sometimes I forget to eat for the day because I constantly overthink, ive noticed i need to tighten my belt a couple notches more. My hands and feet sweat while the rest of my body is covered in goosebumps. I've left my parents house in tears for absolutely no reason at all. Something is up with me and I want help but whenever I try I think of all the reasons not to. Maybe its because how stressed and worried my dad can get, why would I do that to him? My parents would think it's their fault due to the issues between and blame themselves and I'll make it worse. Maybe I dont want my little sisters to know that sometimes big brother doesnt love himself. Maybe I dont want the extra attention it brings.
Maybe its all of these reasons and then some.
I don't know how long it will be before I do open up. Hopefully one day I get the courage.
@decisiveChestnut3815
Hello there,
It sounds like you've been very open with your messages here. Thank you for sharing, you've mentioned the issues with your parents and medical school - do you want to tell us more about those?
Thank you for reaching out - that is a positive first step :)
Lisa
@OceanCounselling the issue with my parents is whenever I visit home I do not see them talk let alone acknowledge each other. How can I talk to my parents about whats going on in my life when they can't even talk to each other?
The career I was mentioning was the Army. I spent my whole life setup for that. Everybody was so proud of me and I felt like I was doing something worth doing in my life. But some issues with my feet stopped me from it. When I grew up everywhere and everyone said you can do anything you want in life just as long as you work for it and keep trying but nobody told me that sometimes you really can't achieve your dream and since then I haven't found what anything in my life thats close to what I wanted.
@decisiveChestnut3815
Hello again,
I can see why you feel the way you do when your parents dont even talk to one another too. It must make you feel very isolated too?
Lisa
@decisiveChestnut381
it sounds also like youve felt like youve let a lot of people down but you have come so far in the army and you now cannot further yourself in this field. What are your passions?
Please be kind on yourself too ❤️ it sounds like youre very self critical too?
You need to stop beating your self up.