im a total wreck and not getting better
life is the worst mess ever. been unemployed 6 months and just a pill-popping addict who cant face reality that sucks too much cuz im an abysmal failure at age 33 nothing is going well im miserable and a screw up my life is not at all what i wanted and it kills knowing im wasting my years pre- mid 30s i will never get married or have kids my life is so far off course and for the life of me it seems impossible to come up with solution i feel incapacitated i hate every day i hate myself the moment i wake up i have prayed too many times and it's clear no help will come from any supernatural force i am all alone in this world a total embarrassment and a failure. i have failed. i need to pull off a 180 i am so deeply entrenched in the swamp of my shattered life condition pathetic and disgusting. i make myself sick and yet the sickness is not driving me to get it together i dont know how to heal this disaster of myself. my life needs to be rescued and i feel so lost and stuck and im dead inside.
@hollowman84 hi, my name is Fernanda and i think i understand how you have been feeling, cause i have felt these feeling for a while, or maybe i've passed through similar issues in life.. i read some of your posts as well and if you'd like to talk to somebody, about anything, i think i may be a good listener, i'd be glad to do the possible to help. =) these words are from a person who may have lost everything of value in her life, but can not make her mind clear to bring these remembrances back anymore. cause now she hides herself in own shadows of loneliness.
@CompassionateTangerineGummy Hello Fernanda, I really appreciate your kindness in reaching out like this. I would be happy to speak with you some time. Just contact me on here any time. My name is Daniel btw. Pleasure to meet you.
@hollowman84 hi, Daniel! =] it's good to know you. ^^ i usually don't start a talk with people, but as i could see in some of your writings, i thought you would like to speak to someone about your concerns, just to put them out and let somebody that doesn't know who you are or any of your mistakes in the past hear you for a moment. we could change some ideas that could be helpful anyway. maybe, even if it's totally useless, sometimes it's good to share some stuffs that seem too heavy to handle alone with others and i would be glad if i could help you. :)
@hollowman84 heey, Daniel! it's Fernanda, annoying you again, sorry for that. i created this new account that i could try helping people and give them some kind of comfort and care. so, i want to help you, let us talk! :}
Every winter ussualy Oct or Nov or Dec I can feel myself starting to get in a hole . On the cold raining days I will sleep all day then can' sleep at night
That when I get deeper in the hole I have been on medication for yrs and I know some of the tools to help get me out but it has been a strugge the last few weeks not hungry no energy etc
The most hardest thing I'm the world for me is to get up and get outside
