just getting things off my chest
in short, i'm 25 years old and developed trust issues and have had no friends for almost 10 years. I've lived with my grandparents since i was 17 and i'm still here and unemployed. It's basically impossible to hold a job and i will no longer be on my mother's medical insurance to get my medication. Im unable to pay for my bills and basically supporting myself. i have suicidal thoughts every day and i've told my family about it and it feels like they dont care anymore, which i suspect they are tired of taking care of me. I had my life planned out and everything fell apart. i cant afford the help i need and i've tried so many times to pick myself up again. i applied for disability and hoped for vocational classes to help teach me how to control myself and be better at being out of my house and going to work and being able to do the work without suicidal thoughts creeping in. I just wanted some help and couldnt get it as i was not qualified. call me a coward but death looks pretty good when my mental health is at it's lowest. Feel free to get things off of your chest too
Hi there. I'm so sorry to hear you've had a rough time and are thinking of death at times. I wish they could have provided support as depression can be very debilitating even if we are physically fine. You've tried really hard to get your life back together and I salute you for that, even if depression still gets you down. 7cups is here for you if you ever need a listener, or want to talk to people in the chatrooms. However, if you're ever seriously considering suicide, please contact a local hotline or visit www.suicide.org.