Binge Eating After Anorexia
2 years ago I was diagnosed with Anorexia. I got the help that I needed but after 4 months of full recovery I gave up therapy because I was scared. Instead I begun a binge/ restrict cycle. Food is in my mind from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. There is nothing else I can think of. I hate it, I am ashamed of it and I don't want it. After a binge, I feel disgusted and automatically first thing that comes to my mind "What did you just do? What happened to you? You need to do something about it" and so I do, I walk for 4 hours, sometimes it can be 6 hours... And this is my day to day. If I don't exercise that much I feel absolutely guilty, disgusting and worthless. And all those feelings... oh boy, it's like a constant war going on my head all the time... If I could go back in time I'd tell the litte innocent girl that I was, that her body does not deserve to be treated the way that it has been treated for over the past 3 years, that she deserves the best and she is beautiful, that she has to be strong because life isn't always going to be easy, yes there will be times where nothing will seem to matter anymore but that's just how life is and she has to learn how to cope with these emotions without hurting herself. These eating disorders are just killing her... It's not too late little girl, so save yourself and seek for help because you are going to need it. Be strong and beat the beast.
@azureKite656
Hey
Im not sure how much help this would be but im also recovering anorexia and going through this. And for me when i felt so isolated with it and odd soemthing that really helped was just knowing other people are going through this aswell and not alone. And can be apart of recovering cause starve your brain so much all does is think about food. And body still wants food. And eating regularly can really help you stop getting the urges to binge eat
I know how horrible and shamful it feels after binge eating but what i also found is if i dont exercise or purge after - im binge eating less, because purging was an escape & not so much an escape so i think more about binging cause its just a horrible cycle and stoppong the purging/exercising could help and stop the cycle. And just eat when i want to and eat regularly and healthy and exercise all in moderation. I also think about if/what could trigger a binge like stress and see if i can do soemthing else to help.
Youre right you dont desrve it and its important to be healthy and feel better without it controlling your life. Think telling yourself that is a great way to help yourself.
Im not sure if i worded that right or if it all makes sense but - youre not alone