Controlled by Ana's voice
Ana's voice gets louder and louder. I've been trying to recover for awhile now, but I just can't do it anymore. Every time I take a step forward, I take ten steps backward. I can't do this anymore.
I'm so confused. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know what to do.
I'm sad, alone, and scared.
I just want to be happy.. and thin. I don't understand why I have to be so fat and unattractive.
Hey sweetie, I know what you're going through, I'm experiencing the same thing you are... If u need someone to talk to im here and, you're not alone.
It's so difficult. I'm so sorry you're experiencing the same thing. All I want to do is crawl into a hole and cry. My friends constantly make comments about it and I'm just so tired.. mentally and physically.
It took me years ( 2+). to finaly find the strength to be in control of my disorder. The best thing to do and rememberis why **you** want to get better. Take the steps even if they are small andif you feel like you are going backwards remember this is going to take time. And even a little improvement is better! Findthe strength inside , use the things that drive you to be attractive and turn them for the good of your health. Change your attitude towards calories to eating full healthy meal with nutritionyour body needs to function so you can enjoy going out doing things that you love or onceloved.
I have been thought this and I wont lie its hard and takes time. It gets easier though. If you have a family member or friend who you can trust and confide in. Let them know you want to get better. Be honest with them and tell them your victories along with you failures.
You can get better and you can be attractive with out harming your self <3
**hug** I will keep you in my thoughts
I've been in and out of treatment for almost five years. Sometimes I don't know why I want to get better. I don't know why I even try sometimes. So I guess reminding myself of the reasons would help get myself back on track. It's so difficult, but I'm not going to give up.. yet. I have to keep trying and I will. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, it means a lot to me. Thank you for reviving my hope that things will get easier eventually. :)
I'm so sorry that you're going through this Maddy. I've had my share of body dysmorphia and disordered eating and it takes over your life. Please speak to a professional before things get out of hand. If you don't want to deal with face to face therapy there are online professionals who can help you, I used PlusGuidance.com before for counselling and would recommend it.
