I don’t want to stop my ED
Im not sure why I’m feeling this way, cause I know eating disorders are unhealthy. However, I don’t want my ED to end. I have been starving myself and making myself throw up whenever I do eat anything. I have not been near hospitalized because of it as it has not gotten that out of hand. I’m aware that what I’m doing to my body is super unhealthy, but I also don’t want it to stop. I haven’t told anyone in my life about it and nobody knows that I’m starving myself. I don’t even want to tell anyone about it though cause I’m worried they will try to fix it, and my ED is honestly slowly making me feel a little more secure. I don’t want it to end since I can see that it’s making me skinnier. Is this normal? I feel like most people want to get help and want to stop their ED’s, but I truly don’t want to at all.
Hi, I've also been struggling with an ed and I'm also not ready to get better and I know exactly how you feel it's an awful feeling. It's a strange comfort seeing you getting skinnier, isn't it? Well, my family found out Eventually and they're trying to fix it/ me. Idk but what I can tell you is that I can relate to you. I know what I'm doing to my body and I know that it will affect me in the future but I still don't want to stop. Maybe it's our ed or whatever. It's the worst feeling knowing your ed is out of hand. But I can tell you from what I heard is that if you find the reason how it all started you might realise how to stop it even if you don't want to. I'm sorry if this isn't helpful at all
I recently attempted treatment and they didn’t address any of the mental issues. All they did was force me to gain weight. Now mentally I am so much worse off, my eating disorder is more out of control and worst of all I’ve gained weight. It’s like now all I want is support with losing weight. Treatment is not an easy thing.
Hi. I'm Ginevra, a listener and I also struggle with an eating disorder.
I also don't feel ready to get out of it. I feel like I won't feel ready until I see myself skinny as I want too. I also have some friends who suffer from it and they also don't feel ready to get better. So I know that it's actually a really common thing. Common but not healthy because you will never see yourself as skinny, your disorder will make sure of it. Your goal weight will get lower and lower until you do permanent damage and lastly are too bad to be saved.
You have to find that last bit of rational mind left in you and force it to take control enough to ask for help in figuring out why you have an eating disorder and then you have to be really strong to slowly start eating again. If you do it alone or with a dietitian you can do it gradually but if you are unable to do it like this you will have to go in a clinic or hospital where they will force you to eat, but if you keep that rational mind in front you can do it.
If you need further help message me
